In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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