I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
