She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
...so i touched it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize