I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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