so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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