You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
