We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
