You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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