Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
