Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
