Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
