You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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