that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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