Just fell off a train. Bad.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
