i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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