Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
