The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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