I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
