just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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