Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
