I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize