I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
