Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
