I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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