I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
