I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
