is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
