O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
