Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there's paper in my vomit.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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