Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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