but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She needs sedatives and a leash
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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