did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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