I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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