i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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