There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
