She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
