I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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