i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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