He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
