Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
