do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
