True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
honey bunches of taint.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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