there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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