So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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