It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
