he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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