it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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