So drunk its hurt
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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