I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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