I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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