Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
