You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
