finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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