We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
