Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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