i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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