just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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