I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do herpes really smell.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
