Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
