Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
