Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
