I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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