Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
