HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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