just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
