What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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