Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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